Episode 15
On Episode 15 of There Will Be Dungeons... Having successfully trapped the party behind a locked portcullis, and raised several hideous zombies to guard his back, Tylander returns to gathering the "soup" from the huge cauldron in the room. Deciding enough is enough, Hope takes aim at Tylander with her shotgun, but as she fires the undead monstrosities quickly move to block the shot. Hope then turns to Nash and implores him to use his magic to stop Tylander - asking him to cast his infamous Thunder Wave spell. Nash, worried that he will yet again harm his companions, overcomes his fear and reaches back with his arms - thrusting forward and casting a huge wave of thunder into the room. The wave blasts papers and other loose objects about the room, and slams into the zombies, which are shockingly unaffected by his magic. Tylander turns back to the party and begins to taunt Nash and Hope's attempts to stop him. Seizing upon a thought, he begins to weave a plan to them where he returns to Orp and convinces the giant that the party were the ones who stole his Shiny, and that Tylander was just trying to get it back from them. Reaching into his cloak he then pulls out a sheaf of paper and holds it tauntingly in front of the party - the Deed for the Chopper Mine! He instead offers the trade the Deed, which he found on the body of Timber McLeland upstairs, for the Shiny. The party considers his offer at length, and decides that making a deal with an obvious murderer and madman, they decline his offer. In response, Tylander weaves his hands in front of the portcullis and creates a glowing red rune on the floor. He warns Nash that he should be careful - otherwise he could get another "Owie" referring to the horrible tumors and boils he is covered with, and Orp's words to describe them. In response to Tylander's mocking and magical rune, Stanley decides to attempt a subterfuge by casting Phantasmal Force on the rune - attempting to create a likeness of the Shiny sitting on top of the rune. Curious but cautious, Tylander instructs one of his zombies to retrieve the illusionary object...but as the monster attempts to grasp the object, it's hand passes through it. Quickly, Stanley attempts to set off the rune by throwing a knife at it...which clangs harmlessly into the floor where the rune has been placed, having no effect. Tylander continues mocking the parties attempts, and Vorel finally seizes on a desperate act. He takes the Shiny from Nash and throws it on the floor. Then, taking Hope's shotgun from her, turns back to the Shiny and threatens to smash the object instead of allowing Tylander to have it. Tylander, taken somewhat aback, warns Vorel that smashing it would be a very bad idea - and begins throw his containers of "soup" back up into the house above him, quickly following behind and leaving the party trapped behind the portcullis. Realizing that even if they were to open the gate, they would still have to deal with the zombies, Nash seizes casts a Giant Growth spell on Vorel, who begins to grow...and grow...and grow. As his head meets the ceiling above him, he gives a mighty shove and crashes through into the house above him. Quickly lifting Nash, Hope, and Stanley up through the hole, he follows just as the spell wears off. As they take stock of their surroundings, they hear the sounds of engines starting up in large numbers. It's as if most of the cars in town have just been started, and the town is beginning to evacuate. They quickly head out towards the center of town, and in the distance, the party can see the form of Orp digging about in the desert sand. They begin to run towards the monster, but before they can make it far, they see the giant bend down, seemingly speaking to someone on the ground near him. Rushing to reach the cyclops before Tylander can weave his lies, the monster reaches down, picks up the form off of the ground, and begins to run towards the the party. Before they can react, the cyclops with a smug-looking Tylander on its shoulder, arrives before the party and confronts them. Orp demands to know why they stole his Shiny, and tells them that Tylander has explained the whole story to him. Nash attempts to convince the monster that they didn't steal it - that Tylander stole it, and they took it back from Tylander, so they could return it to Orp. Nash pulls the necklace out and holds it up for Orp to take. Nash holds out the necklace and shows it to Orp, who reaches down and quickly grabs Nash and raises him up to eye level. Nash tells Orp he can have it back - but he has to realize that Tylander is lying to him. And why would Nash lie? He taught Orp magic! Nash finally hands the necklace over to Orp, who very gently takes it from Nash...and lets Nash go, dropping him into thin air! Stanley, quickly reacting, casts Feather Fall on Nash, saving him from a horrible demise, who drifts slowly to the ground. Orp thanks Nash for returning his shiny, and admonishes them for lying and not telling him they had the shiny! Stanley explains that they didn't have it - they had to take it back from Tylander, to give it back to Orp. Tylander tries to convince Orp that's not true, and that Tylander makes Orp's food dance...why would he lie? Orp, briefly believing Stanley, turns to Tylander and begins to inquire to Tylander as to why he might have lied to Orp. Stanley launches into an Enthralling Performance, and successfully charms Orp into believing that Tylander is going to steal his shiny again. Stanley continues to try and convince Orp that Tylander is a bad person, and not Orp's friend. While Stanley is talking to Orp, Tylander begins to start crawling up Orp's hair...upon reaching Orp's ear, he reaches out and a huge spark can be seen jumping from Tylander's hand into Orp's ear! Orp begins to convulse wildly, his eye rolling up into his head, and suddenly starts to fall face-first into the sand. The party quickly reacts and is able to avoid the falling cyclops, who crashes to the ground shaking the earth. The cyclops is still breathing, but clearly unconscious, and Tylander is nowhere to be seen. Realizing that Tylander is likely not dead, and likely still trying to get the necklace, Nash prepares himself to search the giant's groinal area for the necklace, while Stanley keeps lookout for Tylander. Approaching the mountain that is Orp's crotch, Nash begins to shuffle his way into the space between the creatures leg and testicular area. Nash quickly realizes that it's difficult to see with such little light, and calls out to Stanley to see if he can help. Stanley informs him that his lantern is broken, and Nash is on his own. Undeterred, Nash continues pushing deeper into the darkness of the giant's nethers. Meanwhile, Hope moves towards the giant's head looking for Tylander. She can see some cuts, bruises, abrasions, and burns around Orp's ear where Tylander shocked him. Seeing a faint glimmer out of the corner of her eye, she swings wildly but connects with nothing. Motioning to Vorel, she tries to draw his attention towards where she saw the movement without making any sounds to tip off what they believe is Tylander hiding behind the giant's hair. As they crouch and await movement, Hope suddenly sees a flash of purple behind Orp's hair. She quickly jumps forward and tackles the form...Tylander! She slams him face-first into the ground, and begins to shove sand into his mouth to keep him from trying to cast any spells. She lifts his head off of the ground to see his face, and as she does, Tylander quickly lashes out with his hand and touches Vorel on the arm - a freezing burn sears Vorel's arm, leaving a phantasmal hand print, and Vorel quickly pulls his arm away. Responding to the attack, Hope drops Tylander and lashes out with the but of her gun, smashing Tylander across the face. Meanwhile, back in Orp's swampy groin, Nash is finally successful in locating the necklace, buried deep in Orp's penis. He recovers the necklace, but not before Orp's bladder releases, soaking Nash and causing a large puddle of urine to pool around the giant's crotch. Stanley, seeing the impending lake approaching, begins to wander away to in search of higher and dryer ground. Vorel, feeling the lingering effects of Tylander's attack begins to feel strangely sick, and reacting violently, enters a rage and begins smashing Tylander's head with his fists. Hope and Vorel trade several more savage blows to Tylander's head, and Tylander stops resisting. Hope reaches back with the butt of her gun and delivers a final vicious blow to Tylander's head with a loud crunch. Tylander's body goes limp and he no longer appears to be breathing. Nash finally emerges triumphant from Orp's groin to find that Stanley has wandered off. Muttering under his breath, Nash heads off and finds Stanley, and implores him to provide Prestidigitation-cleaning services. Stanley is reluctant to do so, and inquires as to why Nash felt the need to go digging for the necklace, when the whole point of the encounter was that Orp believed that they had stolen it in the first place! As Hope and Vorel stand around the lifeless body of Tylander, they begin to hear engines start up again in the direction of town. They turn to see a group of vehicles speeding in their direction, loaded with Toyota Host militia. The vehicles begin to circle around the huge form of Orp, slowing to a stop. Two Koromu Kishi orcs dismount from the vehicles and start to head towards the party. Before they can arrive, Hope rifles through Tylander's body looking for the Chopper Mine deed. She pulls a sheaf of paper out that has script written on it, with the words "Chopper Mine Deed" written on the top. And then, before her eyes, the paper slowly dissipates into a cloud of smoke. Lashing out in a rage at being tricked into believe he had the deed, Hope again smashes the butt of her shotgun into the Tylander's corpse' head with a roar. The orcs, now recognizable as Lady Saltbubble and Sir Chickenfinger, approach Hope and Stanley. They inquire as to exactly what is going on here - and who the corpse belongs to. Hope explains that the body belongs to Tylander Sullivan, and the two orcs respond that yes, they've heard of this man, and he's been giving Slavetown a lot of trouble. Lady Saltbubble crouches down and then says that he's been attempting to disrupt the slave trade in Slavetown! Not only has the party been victorious in the Rusty Cage, but they have also stopped a great threat to the Principal's interests in Slavetown. Sir Chickenfinger turns to the unconscious form of Orp, and asks "what about this creature...it's clearly a danger to town and must be destroyed." Vorel responds that the giant is not a danger - simply a scared creature. Sir Chickenfinger replies that although this is true, it presents a grave danger to the town. Vorel replies that the real threat is still in the town - and tells the orcs about Tylander's house filled with monstrosities. Lady Saltbubble signals to a group of Toyota Host soldiers, who then race off into town to investigate. Nash and Stanley finally arrive where Vorel, Hope, and the orcs are conversing. Sir Chickenfinger thanks Nash and Stanley for their help in stopping Tylander and his attempts to disrupt the slave trade in Slavetown. Sir Chickenfinger goes on to say that they will ensure that Celevus Stump continues to make sure that they are appropriately taken care of with lodgings and hospitality while they are in town. Stanley goes on to say that the monster is no danger to town - and is successful in convincing the orcs that they will take responsibility for the creature. They also say that it's his responsibility to make sure the creature is out of the area of the town before nightfall. They then round up the Toyota Host and start to head back to town, taking the corpse of Tylander with them. The party regroups and spends some time considering their next actions, deciding to set up a temporary camp while Orp continues to slumber nearby. While they are resting, Vorel begins to feel a strange drumming coming from the sand around him. He's not entirely sure of it's location or distance, but recognizes it as a lizard folk tradition to indicate that other lizard folk is in the area. Also, during the rest, Nash is able to determine the nature of the necklace. Nash discovers that it is a Necklace of Fireballs with 5 gems in it! Shortly thereafter, Orp begins to stir, and Stanley greets the monster. Orp asks where Tylander is, and Stanley explains Tylander is dead. They were forced to Tylander after he attacked Orp so he could steal Orp's Shiny, and then attacked the party. Orp is upset about this news, and begins to cry, and then starts looking for his shiny. Nash produces the necklace, which the giant gently takes back from Nash. It is only then that Nash realizes his adventures into the crotch of a cyclops have been for nothing! Orp then starts to wander back towards Slavetown, telling Stanley that he's hungry and wants to "eat mans". Stanley stops Orp, and manages to convince him to to not head towards Slavetown - otherwise the protectors of the town, which there are lot of, will try to kill him. Stanley instead tries to convince Orp to head out into the desert in the direction of the goblins that are headed towards Dusthill. Stanley tells Orp that there are hundreds of goblins he can eat and smash, headed towards the town of Dusthill. However, his attempts to convince Orp are unsuccessful. Desperate to find food for their new ward, Vorel and Stanley head off in separate directions to see if they can find something for Orp to eat; Stanley off into town, and Vorel out into the desert. Stanley makes his way back into the town, that seems abandoned, and scours Laddlebing's Hotel for food. Finding a large sack of dried sand squid, he grabs the food and heads back to the cyclops. Vorel heads out into the desert, and uses his skills as a desert hunter to locate a school of sand squid. He successfully captures several, and also returns to the cyclops. Realizing that the large quantity of food they've recovered is but a tiny snack for the enormous cyclops, Nash lends a hand by casting a Giant Growth spell on the sack of dried sand squid. Gobbling down the food, the creature is briefly satisfied, but will clearly be hungry for "mans" again soon. Vorel decides that it would be much more effective to take the giant out into the desert, in an attempt to hunt sand squid himself, and is joined by Nash. As Nash, Vorel, and Orp head out into the desert, Hope and Stanley head back into Slavetown, hoping to raid Tylander's library to better understand what has been going on in town. Category:Episodes